Tuesday, January 23, 2018
My Parents
I thought they liked me with straight, silky, thick black hair with bangs and black eyes and white skin.
I cared about people, especially Southern Europeans, who acted like dark features are precious, but I didn't expect to be in the doghouse because people found out I did that before and then I changed my mind.
I changed my mind when I found that, if you see people with fair features, even the ones who promoted dark features to everyone else will say to me that they are actually like the people with fair features, who stand out as very attractive in really cool ways. It's hopeless for other people like me.
Why am I side saddling a wild goose chase to promote dark features like I'm in a box? Then shows up the Trojan horse of the ambush to promote people who are very different from the ones who seemed to maybe have lazily led the rest of the sheep the wrong way philosophically.
I changed my mind when I found that, if you see people with fair features, even the ones who promoted dark features to everyone else will say to me that they are actually like the people with fair features, who stand out as very attractive in really cool ways. It's hopeless for other people like me.
Why am I side saddling a wild goose chase to promote dark features like I'm in a box? Then shows up the Trojan horse of the ambush to promote people who are very different from the ones who seemed to maybe have lazily led the rest of the sheep the wrong way philosophically.
Did the world just "go" or "let go" with Tim Burton and Johnny Depp because the world was jealous of them? doing the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? It's been 13 years. If you were a pirate, it's been 15 years, and people only appreciate the 1st one. It almost seems like an accident that things went wrong and stayed permanently. I think it has something to do with it making people like me lose focus or be bothered in school. Yup! That's it! It's over!
My Shopping Plan
So, I want to get a Broadway, pop, and folk violin book and sheet music for around $50. I get $50 next week.
Next month... I want DNA tests at ancestry.com $79.99 and myheritage.com $59. I'll spend $138.99 total on the DNA tests. Did you know the records with proof of our ethnicities from some side of my dad's mom's family burned in a building on fire? I don't know if it was an accident or on purpose, at all.
I haven't felt up to cleaning my room, but I need a bigger table, smaller than the one I used to have. I also need another shelf/wardrobe for clothes, someday. It's getting tight in here, tho.
I was thinking of getting more violin books next week but was thinking maybe should tidy up my room first, either by cleaning soon or as I planned needing a bigger table and maybe soon shelf/wardrobe for clothes. Not sure, but I'm starting my violin lessons again.
Next month... I want DNA tests at ancestry.com $79.99 and myheritage.com $59. I'll spend $138.99 total on the DNA tests. Did you know the records with proof of our ethnicities from some side of my dad's mom's family burned in a building on fire? I don't know if it was an accident or on purpose, at all.
I haven't felt up to cleaning my room, but I need a bigger table, smaller than the one I used to have. I also need another shelf/wardrobe for clothes, someday. It's getting tight in here, tho.
I was thinking of getting more violin books next week but was thinking maybe should tidy up my room first, either by cleaning soon or as I planned needing a bigger table and maybe soon shelf/wardrobe for clothes. Not sure, but I'm starting my violin lessons again.
I have to save $125.56 for 5 months, I think, to pay tuition to major in music at a community college, starting Fall 2018. That's actually a very long time to wait. I get $400 per month, so it may work out. I'm not having to use that much money at the moment. I can go to Disney World with $50 per visit, and I won't renew my pass in the Fall because of all the money I saved for school and how much time it takes. I'll need the money maybe to eat when I go to school cuz I don't like regular home prepared sandwiches as of anymore now. Yea, like $12 + tax per day to eat there maybe. That's $192 + tax per month, rounded out. I wonder how I will pay to go to a 4-year conservatory I went to before. The yearly cost including things like room and board is $43,868. I can apply for the federal and private loans. My goal is to be a performer. I wonder how far I will be able to go, tho, in level. It says the following are career options from there:
Music educator
Chamber musician
Orchestral musician
Conductor
Music business executive
Arts administrator
Private teacher
Concert soloist
My violin teacher says it will take me at least 10 years before I can major in violin, but the community colleges will take anyone, I think even if they never played but I'm not sure. It's not the same for state. I wonder what that would mean for me. I think I damaged the nerves in my arms and hands since I punched a hole in my wall by accident and then did more and hit my table later on when upset a number of times. After the hole in my wall or so, my arms, hands, and fingers seem to blow up more poofy. It's funny. People who do music in grade school participate in performance right away, at least it seems. It seems group string class, if a special class for strings is how they do it, is easier than one 1/2 hour private lesson a week, at least in my experience, as I described some about, because later I hurt my arms and hands. Still, I bet the string class people play for an hour together a couple times a week. They maybe go thru scales together and listen to each person get a turn. It's longer than you might practice starting out and a fun way to learn. I haven't mastered the vibrating yet, tho. I'm not sure how that gets taught, as I only took class for 1 year as a college student.
Music educator
Chamber musician
Orchestral musician
Conductor
Music business executive
Arts administrator
Private teacher
Concert soloist
My violin teacher says it will take me at least 10 years before I can major in violin, but the community colleges will take anyone, I think even if they never played but I'm not sure. It's not the same for state. I wonder what that would mean for me. I think I damaged the nerves in my arms and hands since I punched a hole in my wall by accident and then did more and hit my table later on when upset a number of times. After the hole in my wall or so, my arms, hands, and fingers seem to blow up more poofy. It's funny. People who do music in grade school participate in performance right away, at least it seems. It seems group string class, if a special class for strings is how they do it, is easier than one 1/2 hour private lesson a week, at least in my experience, as I described some about, because later I hurt my arms and hands. Still, I bet the string class people play for an hour together a couple times a week. They maybe go thru scales together and listen to each person get a turn. It's longer than you might practice starting out and a fun way to learn. I haven't mastered the vibrating yet, tho. I'm not sure how that gets taught, as I only took class for 1 year as a college student.
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