What do people think is wrong with me?

Update

Website - People!

2013 - the leader on the left

Bible Verse

When all the prisoners of the land
   are crushed under foot.
when human rights are perverted
  in the presence of the Most High
when one’s case is perverted
  —does the Lord not see it?

Lamentations 3:34-36

Are you really ready?

Is there promise for other people's lives to improve and change drastically?

I think the world pretty much called time.

I'm here.  What are we waiting for?  No one else is ready.

What do you think of Late Boomers nagging, incessantly overboard, that other people that they don't feel as good as them?

I guess some people in the world have nothing to say to me.  They just want to pretend they are disciplining me after they bother me and make me upset.

What people from Generation XY disregard what Baby Boomers have done for us!  People pretend I'm the bad one.

Who wastes their time picking on Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka like it's not as good as other things in certain ways...?

I've got it all figured out.  I have 2 white hairs.  Once I get rolling, I will have premature maturity, on its way!  Bye bye cruel world!

Is being accepted to do with "Late Boom" some funky think where you just tell things off? and not much?

The violin is not christened sacred unreachably from humans.  People think only Germans can play scientific music, like the way it's set.  I'm just not natural with the idea it's all hitting drums and stuff with naked ladies from South of France.  I like it very much, but that's a different story.  In fact, my dad is a rhythm guitarist and I used to pluck rubber bands around things but no not "often" or anything.  I was very accurate mostly.  I can see myself into visual art and making toys.  I want to make one and have kinda decided on it, doing at least one for me; it doesn't have to become the next Build-a-Bear.  I like violin cuz it's not "weird" like something you blow in with your mouth.

Some people are pretty goofy thinking causing problems is living the life and the way to go.

Spotify

I still need to study, but I am capable.

Why are people saying they know or do music better than me?  I took a break because I didn't even know which instrument I liked.  I'm still me, and I'm playing again.

People act like kids born around 1997 and 1998 with Late Boom parents can always recover and deserve more than me.  Some people just go into race after that.

Why are people pursuing my independence?

This just in.

Maybe, it wasn't someone in particular who started exploiting this person who's being exploited but rather a force of bad people doing bad things.

I don't feel like I'm alone in a crowd.

Have you ever heard of when it's time to believe the good news?

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I edited a word.

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I fixed the page from an error I made.

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New Page

Interesting Stuff

People keep judging me by studying my dad.  People know they are not supposed to take his weaknesses and use them for me.  Everyone has changed their mind about me.  He has spread around his influence to others to treat me badly.

I can see Late Boom males trying to act like they need a follow-the-leader following Early Boom males to mistreat me.  "Hm, is this how you do it?  [Reads instructions.]"

Who's watching?  I think everyone else already left.

I guess it's a turn on for other people.

Some Late Boomers need to get a life.  They think putting Generation X people with Early Boom dads in place, in their careless opinion, is, like, all the drama.

Some people or no people should build an ark with their body and say they are providing the world to someone like me, like I'm a "girl in a bubble."

I can tell someone thinks I'm just their little angel *prattling when I speak of big things like this, like "it's okay I can talk back to them but I'm their possession, their 'little girl.'"

*prattle - "talk at length in a foolish or inconsequential way." "foolish or inconsequential talk." (link)

I found I was secretly disliked by some in ways that are important to me.  Other people were put before me, like I'm a related joke to spin off of.  Moreover, I am not given a chance.  It's like I'm a joke, after all I do, to think I am okay.  I get mistreated, and other people will say that's just me like everyone else, at least of my generation.  I get judged since an infant, and others are off the hook because they were "still young," like kids and teenagers.  It seems what I have to say is tracked down as controversial as a topic.  However, others delve into these things and are not responsible emotionally and intellectually seem immoral under me.  So, other people my generation are "okay" and I'm not okay to them.  I know it's their little joke about race and adding things to the pot.  It's like, "Okay, we'll watch 'Christina.'  But we throw her away when it's all done."

More Organizing My Room

table

big cloth wardrobe w/drawers

Checking Cool Celebs on Twitter / online

Why does so much pressure build up when you think about checking and how what they say will send you a shock? like there's something wrong (with you.)

They are let lose on their own on Twitter and say whatever they want under the radar.

People make a big deal and ruin my life because of race, they barge in on my situation and happiness.

Why are people so adamant to monitor me from getting along with someone "normal" I like a lot?  Some people think life is about making natural emotions into object-like ideas when they are attacking others.  They think it's like money.

My Parents

I thought they liked me with straight, silky, thick black hair with bangs and black eyes and white skin.

I cared about people, especially Southern Europeans, who acted like dark features are precious, but I didn't expect to be in the doghouse because people found out I did that before and then I changed my mind.

I changed my mind when I found that, if you see people with fair features, even the ones who promoted dark features to everyone else will say to me that they are actually like the people with fair features, who stand out as very attractive in really cool ways.  It's hopeless for other people like me.

Why am I side saddling a wild goose chase to promote dark features like I'm in a box?  Then shows up the Trojan horse of the ambush to promote people who are very different from the ones who seemed to maybe have lazily led the rest of the sheep the wrong way philosophically.

You know when a little thing goes a long way?

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I deleted a bunch of posts.

Did the world just "go" or "let go" with Tim Burton and Johnny Depp because the world was jealous of them? doing the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?  It's been 13 years.  If you were a pirate, it's been 15 years, and people only appreciate the 1st one.  It almost seems like an accident that things went wrong and stayed permanently.  I think it has something to do with it making people like me lose focus or be bothered in school.  Yup!  That's it!  It's over!

My Shopping Plan

So, I want to get a Broadway, pop, and folk violin book and sheet music for around $50.  I get $50 next week.

Next month...  I want DNA tests at ancestry.com $79.99 and myheritage.com $59.  I'll spend $138.99 total on the DNA tests.  Did you know the records with proof of our ethnicities from some side of my dad's mom's family burned in a building on fire?  I don't know if it was an accident or on purpose, at all.

I haven't felt up to cleaning my room, but I need a bigger table, smaller than the one I used to have.  I also need another shelf/wardrobe for clothes, someday. It's getting tight in here, tho.


I was thinking of getting more violin books next week but was thinking maybe should tidy up my room first, either by cleaning soon or as I planned needing a bigger table and maybe soon shelf/wardrobe for clothes.  Not sure, but I'm starting my violin lessons again.

I have to save $125.56 for 5 months, I think, to pay tuition to major in music at a community college, starting Fall 2018.  That's actually a very long time to wait.  I get $400 per month, so it may work out.  I'm not having to use that much money at the moment.  I can go to Disney World with $50 per visit, and I won't renew my pass in the Fall because of all the money I saved for school and how much time it takes.  I'll need the money maybe to eat when I go to school cuz I don't like regular home prepared sandwiches as of anymore now.  Yea, like $12 + tax per day to eat there maybe.  That's $192 + tax per month, rounded out.  I wonder how I will pay to go to a 4-year conservatory I went to before.  The yearly cost including things like room and board is $43,868.  I can apply for the federal and private loans.  My goal is to be a performer.  I wonder how far I will be able to go, tho, in level.  It says the following are career options from there:

Music educator
Chamber musician
Orchestral musician
Conductor
Music business executive
Arts administrator
Private teacher
Concert soloist

My violin teacher says it will take me at least 10 years before I can major in violin, but the community colleges will take anyone, I think even if they never played but I'm not sure.  It's not the same for state.  I wonder what that would mean for me.  I think I damaged the nerves in my arms and hands since I punched a hole in my wall by accident and then did more and hit my table later on when upset a number of times.  After the hole in my wall or so, my arms, hands, and fingers seem to blow up more poofy.  It's funny.  People who do music in grade school participate in performance right away, at least it seems.  It seems group string class, if a special class for strings is how they do it, is easier than one 1/2 hour private lesson a week, at least in my experience, as I described some about, because later I hurt my arms and hands.  Still, I bet the string class people play for an hour together a couple times a week.  They maybe go thru scales together and listen to each person get a turn.  It's longer than you might practice starting out and a fun way to learn.  I haven't mastered the vibrating yet, tho.  I'm not sure how that gets taught, as I only took class for 1 year as a college student.

Well... maybe I will go for community college and transfer to a conservatory I went to before and never take that many general studies.  I have, like, nothing to do at home.

It's just too much work to take the bus 4 days a week.

I was going to go to a community college for violin, but I realized I could just play at home and get out of the house after I'm advanced enough to play in an orchestra or chamber group.  I was gonna launch outta this place and go to a conservatory up north.  I guess I don't need to.

How do you get "in" in violin?

So many people start out when they are young, but I don't know many people who do it for passion.

Hollywood! & NY NY!

There seems to be a lot of controversy about the film industry for normal people.

People have always complained that, like, there are people out there with money from acting to get too skinny compared normal people.

I have experience.

I had to start with Spanish.

For Indonesian, when my mom's mom visited, I got by on just a few words.

This may be better than majoring in German because they don't seem to do too much, tho there are advanced/literature classes.  I think I need to focus on getting my 1st degree this late in the game, tho.  What's propelling me on is the idea I will go to college and get a degree because they have them in music.

I'm also using other programs.

I know that the Spanish III and IV students did literature, but I wonder if they needed to use a dictionary to get down meanings of words verbatim.

Learning German

I am translating verbatim parts of stories I like like Alice in Wonderland and making flash cards for those words and a list, too.

People think other people should not compliment themselves and enjoy things.  They don't realize that they themselves push the envelope.

Guess I won't dye it...

"lead us from temptation"

I got the idea to dye my hair like it was as a baby.

That would be medium brown with highlights that came in against it when it was more black ... or outright strawberry red blonde.

Well, that's 2 things, and they come with darker/grayish blue contacts.

So, what, brown or red and gold?

Did you know we didn't have clothes?

It's funny how there's no one to talk to.  Like, you meet someone prestigious but not a celebrity, and they're off-limits.

I'm trying to not have it on as much, anyway, but I've still checked it sometimes.

Why isn't there anything good on TV, anymore?

I am catching more commercials where the speaker mocks me by sounding out part of my name in the message in a bad way.

People humble themselves racially in hopes other people will ultimately do the same.

What do you think happens when people dare to ruin things like movies with their mean sarcasm?

Someone in a commercial pretended to be nice they tried to sound out my last name like I have a problem that was done with something in the commercial.

People act like it's too bad for me like they think underneath it all I'm a bad person and did bad things, when no one else just saw anything just happen.  It just has to be, for them.  They act like all mature about it like it must be a big thing.  You can see it course thru their veins.

People act like other people are mean to me.  They act like they have to be nice to the people who are mean to me so they won't attack me.

People keep using cheap morals of other people against me.

I feel abused like other people are getting ahead but not morally.

What are some of the Americans with German blood hiding?  They act like they have it all, but they hide.  It's like we're supposed to anticipate something happening to us.

cont.

How did you react to encountering such beauty?  Did you feel like you were in a stupor or that she was a pretty lady?

Irish Singer

Here is an Irish lady singer with a French maiden name, the one with red hair.

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I said the Spanish singer was also a floutist.

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I edited my primary blog post.

What do you think? 2 Spanish females.

Spanish Violinist





Spanish Singer - She also is a floutist.

What do you think of people who are "making it," like "poor kids in Africa?"

If you really hang out with someone, you're bound to blend.

Primary Blog Post

link

Young "Success Stories"

Irish / Anglo-Irish Girl from Ireland

    

Violinist from Spain

Update

My Websites - People Like Me - Irish People

      

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New Page - My Stuff - My Websites - People Like Me

Why do so many people in the world think they have an upper hand on me and always have something controversial to say?

Update

My Websites

My Forum

"No Good"

Common Belief in Orlando!
People act like there are good college music programs here.  I'm about to maybe go to the worst one, at a less popular but more moral community college.

Music - Double Majors and Minors
So, there's a private school.  I think all they did 1st semester was Christmas music, regarding the orchestra and choir.  I am guessing most people at this school, which was ranked #1 in the South at the undergraduate level, are double majors or music minors.  They just want a little holiday cheer at exam time to brighten the Christmas mood.  UCF is here and offers a BM but not a conservatory, neither.  I went to a good music program that was partly conservatory.  It was at a high ranked private religious school.

"Family-Friendly" Options for Some...
I wanted to live at home, but I guess there's nothing for me in this radius, when the time comes.  I don't like how I'm not really successful for my age.  I'm 31 and found a new college program instead of the modern entertainment business.  I was wanting to be a dancer and singer and things like that in the movies, but that's not a big field.  I liked classical music, so ballet and opera.

I think...

...it's a better experience to be famous in an underground way rather than as an entertainment personality or famous politician.  It's also, of course, better to be a Late Boomer.

Do you have to prove yourself attractive to be trusted?  Some people will do anything someone says, even if questionable just drop out and avoid questioning.

What I Wish I Did

I went to a warrior fierce high school for grades 1, 2, and 3.  Go Spartans!  We even lived across the road on Spartan Trace, a new development.

Freshman
1- English II - Gifted
2- Geometry - Gifted
3- Career Orientation / Civics
4- Biology - Honors
5- PE I
6- Talented Music
7- Dance Team

Sophomore
1- English III - Advanced Placement / Gifted
2- Algebra II - Gifted
3- World History - Honors?
4- Chemistry - Honors
5- PE II / Health
6- Talented Music
7- Dance Team

Junior
1- English IV - Advanced Placement / Gifted
2- American History - Advanced Placement / Gifted
3- Free Enterprise /
4- Talented Music
5- Dance Team
6-
7-

College - Loyola University New Orleans - Music Performance, Honors, & Dance Team

I chose Dance Team for this idea because I don't know if I could do both music and ballet, and Dance Team, tho hard, may be easier and more do-able recreation-ally.  I actually took ballet at a modern dance school, and I didn't learn much starting late.  I did do gymnastics as a kid and some ballet.  I started gymnastics 1st and wasn't as good at ballet, even early on.  I felt odd.  So, here's another idea.

Freshman
1- English II - Gifted
2- Geometry - Gifted
3- Career Orientation / Civics
4- Biology I - Honors
5- PE I
6- Talented Music - Violin
7- Talented Theater

Sophomore
1- English II - Gifted / Advanced Placement
2- Algebra II - Gifted
3- World History - Honors?
4- Chemistry - Honors
5- PE II / Health
6- Talented Music - Violin
7- Talented Theater

Junior
1- English III - Gifted / Advanced Placement
2- American History - Gifted / Advanced Placement
3- Free Enterprise /
4- Talented Music - Violin
5- Talented Theater
6-
7-

After School - Ballet

College - Loyola University New Orleans - BM Violin Performance, Ballet Minor, German Minor, & Honors

Talented Theater was sort of the new cheerleading, and a completely good-looking and emotional boy was in it.  I actually put it in because I know it's like a refinement to English class, and I had to chose another thing.  They didn't offer German until my 2nd year.

What do you think of people keeping things at bay when they can get attention, whereas other people can't?  There isn't really an agreed upon reason why it's this way with certain people.  People who are not really involved in a certain way that has a special reason still get the lotto, so-to-speak.

Idea for a Dress for a German Orchestra Concert in NYC

Jealous people ruined it for me with Late Boomers giving me special attention with people born around 1997/1998.

I like having an account at a private message board, but it's not what my life revolves around anymore.

"Cracking Down"

Maybe, I won't go to church so I don't get tempted to sing.  The bus ride on Sundays is laborious for some reason.

I need every bit of time I can get.  Either you have time or money ... or neither.  It is all about time and money.

Church is such a big commitment.  I feel outwinded.  I need to get my act together at home somehow.

"It's already too late."

Some people have nothing to give but themselves.

Some people just want to question life and create disagreements, like it has to do with other people's purposes.

People look forward to success at work.  People in younger families feel there is a sense of wonder in life.

No More Such Thing as "Child Prodigies"

It's all about Late Boomers.  They already are given the most ideal lives.

Update

I added my Spotify on the right of this blog.

Update

on the right of this blog

My Stuff - My Websites - People!

Proof? Petra Müllejans will be at the 60th Grammy's?

I thought maybe other people could come.  I guess I was right to post a congratulations online for her.  I hope the soloist high male singer Philippe Jaroussky and the Freiburger Barockorchester will also be able to watch from Germany, maybe together.

Find Out Where 60 GRAMMY Nominees Were Born | GRAMMY.com

https://www.grammy.com/.../kendrick-lamar-jay-z-2018-grammy-nominees-region-la...

19 hours ago - There is, among others, Lorde, who is from Auckland, New Zealand; Ed Sheeran from England; Chronixx from Kingston, Jamaica; Antonio Sánchez from Mexico City; Juanes from Colombia;Petra Müllejans from Düsseldorf, Germany; and Dmitri Hvorostovsky from Krasnoyarsk, Russia. And then there's the United States, ...

Why didn't they list Philippe Jaroussky? or everyone in the orchestra?  They accredited this to the concert master / 1st violinist and unsure but maybe her first attendance at the Grammy's!  She was co - in charge of the orchestra until 2016, but her name was unlisted on the winning music in their past other 2 years of nominations.

__________________________________________________

I'm super-excited!  I'm glad I will be able to see it live because it's fun.  I know at the Oscars, I think they put Tweets on the air during Red Carpet, at least.  The hosts are fun; Ellen DeGeneres ordered pizza one of the two times she hosted the Oscars I know.

This is such a wonderful thing!  I'm so lucky I get to see them.  I follow the orchestra online because I like the lady who was in charge but also like them a lot.  I also like classical music, as well, and majored in it in college.  Glad such a good thing could happen to such a nice group and led by such a nice lady!

Too bad the whole orchestra probably cannot be there but glad Petra Müllejans will have such a wonderful experience!  I hope they win!  It would be so awesome to see her go up there and speak and a wonderful experience for her.  It's, indeed, "simply marvelous!"

A Cheater out of Race

People see someone being weird who happens to be a colored minority.  Why do they immediately think of me and their opinion that I'm a cheater out of race to them?  I shouldn't come to mind when a colored minority is being handled.  Why didn't anyone else come up to them?  No, I'm not a cheater out of race.  Whoever thinks that is dazed and confused and needs to find their marbles.  That's a lotta people for different reasons, many of which stem to race and haphazard racial beliefs.

Idea of an Outfit to See a German Orchestra in NYC Around My Birthday